your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
