I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I want to be your penis for a week.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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