I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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