Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
