It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
