Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
