Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize