she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
