Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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