you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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