I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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