giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
