It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
