They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
