Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
