i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
