we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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