i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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