The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
