Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
