My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
