I'm going to jail i love you
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I intend to get homeless drunk
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
