thus making me awesome and them whores
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
