you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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