smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
