I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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