Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
