how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
