So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
