Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You just made me feel so damn special
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
