Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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