i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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