Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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