I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
