One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
