you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
