bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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