he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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