This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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