I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
