how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
