Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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