It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
