we have pet lesbian snakes
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
