Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Fuck appropriateness.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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