So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
