how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
