What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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