I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i think i just lost a toe
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
