So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
