3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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