Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
