how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
