Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
