I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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