So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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