He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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