pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
