dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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