everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize