ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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