their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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