I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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