No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
