just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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