Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize